


Bachelor Parties

by noisey_burlesque_peach



Series: Dad Spencer Reid [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Drinking, F/F, Gambling, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Poker, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Strip Poker, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23998135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noisey_burlesque_peach/pseuds/noisey_burlesque_peach
Summary: Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan both have a bachelor party before their wedding. Though they start very differently, they end the same way.Sequel to “Proposals”
Relationships: Background Penelope Garcia/Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Series: Dad Spencer Reid [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730608
Comments: 11
Kudos: 160





	1. Derek Morgan

**Author's Note:**

> I like to headcannon that Morgan and Will are good friends.

“Alright babe, we’re heading out now,” Morgan said, hoisting his bags over his shoulder. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I think I’ll be okay without you for a night. I have my own party to go to, remember,” Spencer said, wrapping his arms around Morgan’s neck loosely.

“I mean it, Atlantic City is a four hour drive, but I can do it in two and a half,”

“Derek I will be tasting old expensive wines with Rossi, Hotch and JJ. You don’t have to worry about me. In fact, I should be worried about you. Who knows what kind of trouble Emily and Garcia are going to drag you into,” Spencer teased. “Remember what happened in Key West?”

“Hey, I’m a taken man now.”

“You better remember that.” Spencer kissed him sweetly, pulling away after just a few seconds.

“I only have eyes for you pretty boy,” Morgan said, flashing a blinding smile at him.

“Kate, come say goodbye to Derek,” Spencer called up the stairs. A moment later a set of little footsteps could be heard running down the stairs.

“Hey kiddo,” Morgan said, crouching down to her level and holding his arms open. She ran up giving him a big hug. 

“Bye Derek,” she said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the Inn. You’re gonna drive up there with my sisters tonight, you remember Sarah and Desiree.”

“Yeah! Last time they came to our house we played twister and Mario Cart!”

“Awesome,” Morgan said, giving her a high five.

“Are you all packed?” Spencer asked. 

“My clothes are, but not my toys and books.”

“Alright, go finish up. Desiree and Sarah will be here soon.”

The rest of them would be making the trip in the morning. Morgan, Garcia and Prentiss would be in Atlantic City, only five hours away, but for everyone else the trip was seven hours. Morgan’s sisters and Kate were making the trip during the night in hopes that Kate would sleep most of the way.

“Okay my chocolate Adonis, we have to get going if we wanna make it to ‘The World’s Playground’ by sundown,” Garcia said.

“Go. We’re good,” Spencer said. 

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. Ready to go mama?” Morgan turned his attention to Garcia.

“Yes I am, my lover is awaiting us in the car.” She looped her arm in Morgan’s tugging him to the door. “I promise we’ll take good care of him Spence!”

“Love you babe,” Morgan called over his shoulder.

“I love you too.”

Prentiss was sitting shotgun in Garcia’s car out back. She was Atlantic City ready, wearing a little black dress that was perfectly appropriate for the occasion. 

“Someone’s dressed up,” Morgan commented, walking over to the Driver’s side. 

“Oh no D-man I am driving tonight,” Garcia said, hurrying to push him out of the way.

“You know I can get us there faster,” Morgan argued.

“But you can’t drive under the influence, and this is for you.” Prentiss said, handing him a discreet water bottle full of what Morgan assumed was vodka or tequila or some other clear liquor. 

“Damn you guys, you sure know how to treat a guy.” He opened it up and took a swig. Yeah that was tequila. He had to stop himself from coughing. 

“Okay we have to pick Will up and then we will be off,” Garcia said once they had pulled out of the driveway.

“You got Will to come?” Morgan asked. “This is gonna be awesome.”

Four hours later the four of them were pulling up to the casino just around eight o’clock. The main floor was already packed full of socialites, ready to party their way into tomorrow.

“You two get a head start, Emily and I will check is in. We got adjoining rooms,” Garcia said, taking Morgan’s bag from him. 

They spent hours gambling, winning some and loosing others. Morgan and Prentiss won more than they lost, Will not so much. Garcia played a few slot machines, but she was more interested in making sure her friends’ glasses were filled and being a good luck charm for Emily.

It was one am when they made their way back to their rooms. They gathered in Garcia and Prentiss’s room, not ready to call it a night yet.

“Baby girl I have been to a lot of bachelor parties before, but this one is by far the best,” Morgan slurred.

“I’m glad you liked it,” she said from her spot on the couch. She was laying down with her head in Prentiss’s lap. The latter woman was dozing off with her chin tucked to her chest.

“Hey Prentiss you awake?” Morgan asked. She startled at that, looking blearily around the room for the man who called her name.

“Hey Morgan,” she said. “What happened to your shirt?” 

Morgan looked down to see that his chest was bare. He didn’t remember taking his shirt off, all he knew is that it was gone.

“I remember how you lost it,” Will said.

“How?”

“I forget.” Will burst out into a fit of laughter that the others joined in slowly. 

“Will you are a treasure,” Morgan barked. 

A knock on the door stopped their conversation in its tracks, not that it was much of a conversation at all.

“FBI, open up,” the voice on the other side of the door said.

“But we’re the FBI,” Morgan said.

Will got up to open it. A man and a woman were standing on the other side of the door, both in bulletproof vests, that if he had been in his right mind, Morgan would’ve realized were fake.

“Agents, what’s wrong?” Morgan asked. In his mind’s eye he stood up and walked over to them, but in reality he was still sitting.

“Which one of you is Derek Morgan?” The man asked, once the door had been closed behind them. 

“That’s him!” Garcia almost shouted, pointing a finger at Morgan.

“Well Mr. Morgan you’re under arrest for being a naughty boy,” the woman said.

If Morgan had been in his right mind he also would’ve noticed that neither of the “agents” were wearing shirts under their vests.

The two of them pulled off their tear-away pants simultaneously, revealing their matching glittery blue underwear. 

“Garcia you did not,” Morgan said with a grin.

“Oh yes I did. I didn’t know if you’d want a girl or a guy so I got both. And before you get your panties in a twist, I asked the good doctor and he said he’s fine with it as long as you keep your hands to yourself.”

Morgan looked between them, deciding which one he wanted first.

“Come here big boy,” he said, beckoning for the man to come over.

“Good choice,” he said, straddling Morgan’s waist.

“You want one too?” The woman asked Will.

“Ah no thank you. I don’t think my girl would like it very much,” He replied.

“I want one!” Garcia said. “Can I babe?” She gave Prentiss the puppy dog eyes.

“As long as I get one after,” she said, squeezing her girlfriend’s thigh. 

“You know, you should teach my fiancé how to do this,” Morgan said to the man who was rolling his hips above him, just barely hovering above his lap. 

“You should’ve brought him, I’m sure he’d enjoy this too,” the man said.

“He’s at a wine tasting with our boss. He’s banned from most casinos around here.”

“Bad behavior?”

“No. He’s a genius with eidetic memory and and IQ of 187. The house always wins unless they’re playing against my Spencer.” 

“He seems like quite a catch.”

“Yeah he is.”

Back in his own room Morgan shifted out of his pants and collapsed on the bed. He was incredibly drunk and tired but he still had enough energy to pick up his phone and call Spencer. The other man picked up after three rings.

“Hello?” He asked, sounding groggy and disoriented. 

“Hey baby boy,” Morgan slurred into the phone. 

“Derek. How’s Atlantic City?” 

“It’s great babe. I made two hundred dollars, and I got a lap dance from a man who was dressed up as a sexy FBI agent.” Spencer chuckled on the other end.

“That sounds amazing.”

“It was nice but you’re the only sexy FBI agent I want.”

“Derek, honey, you’re so drunk,” Spencer said.

“No, you’re drunk.”

“Okay, I am drunk, but so are you.”

“Where are you right now?” Morgan asked.

“I think I’m on Rossi’s couch. I don’t know, I passed out at some point. Why?” 

“Because I’m hard and I want you to talk dirty to me so I can cum.” Morgan could hear the hitch in Spencer’s voice. 

“I can’t do this in Rossi’s living room.”

“Then go into the bathroom. I need to hear your voice baby boy.”

“Ugh, fine. Hold on.”

Morgan could hear Spencer shifting around and making his way to the bathroom. 

“Okay. I’m here. What do you want?” 

“Put your hand in your pants. Touch yourself.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” The sound of a zipper made it known to Morgan that Spencer was doing as he was told.

“Are you touching yourself?” Spencer asked.

“Yeah,” Morgan said, stuffing his hand in his boxers. “Tell me what you would do if I was there.” 

“I’d push you up against the wall and kiss you until you couldn’t breathe.” 

Morgan picked up the pace a little bit, letting a few groans slip out.

“Wish I could feel your lips around me right now,” Morgan said.

“Me too. I love sucking your dick.”

“You have no idea what I’m gonna do to you when I see you tomorrow. First horizontal surface I find I’m taking you on.”

“Fuck, please,” Spencer whined.

“I’m gonna FaceTime you baby so I can see you. Hold on.”

“Okay, yeah,” Spencer said.

Morgan hung up, calling him back on FaceTime seconds later. Spencer answered almost as soon as Morgan called. 

The phone was pointed at Spencer’s face when he picked up. He looked thoroughly debauched. His hair was all messed up and his lips were swollen from biting them. Just the sight of him looking this pretty was almost enough to make Morgan cum on the spot.

“Damn baby, you look good,” Morgan said. “Flip the camera around, let me see you in the mirror.” 

Spencer did as he was told, holding the phone up to the huge mirror over the sink. Spencer had rucked his shirt up to expose his stomach. 

“You like that?” Spencer asked.

“You know I do Spence. Keep touching yourself.”

Spencer moved his hand up and down his strokes coming more fevered. The camera shook as he drew closer to his climax.

“Derek I’m so close, please, I need to cum,” He panted.

“Go ahead baby boy, come for me, let me see.” Morgan was close too, all he needed was to see Spencer cum to tip him over the edge. 

With a final hard tug Spencer came all over his chest and fist. Morgan came almost at the same time, watching Spencer’s face as he did.

“I just masturbated in Rossi’s bathroom,” Spencer mumbled after he had come down from his post orgasmic high. “God, I hope he didn’t hear me.”

“I’m sure he didn’t babe,” Morgan said, still breathing hard. “Aren’t you glad I made you get an iPhone? Can’t FaceTime with a flip phone.”

“Yeah okay, I guess there is one good thing about having one,” Spencer admitted begrudgingly.

“I’m so tired Spence. Call you in the morning?” 

“Yeah, that’s good. I love you Derek Morgan.”

“I love you too Spencer Reid.”


	2. Spencer Reid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know that they would never actually do this. Let me have my fantasies.

After Morgan left Spencer went to the bedroom to finish packing. He passed Kate’s room on the way and peeked in to make sure she was packing too.

“Need any help?” He asked her.

“No, I’m almost done,” she said, shoving a few books into her backpack.

“Okay, well think about what you want for dinner. Sarah and Desiree said they would take you wherever you want to go.”

“Anywhere?”

“Anywhere.” 

Spencer couldn’t help but smile to himself as he went to finish packing up. Kate was growing up so fast. It had been almost a full year since her appendectomy, and she had flourished since then.

She was eight now, her birthday was a few months ago, and she was getting smarter every day. She loved to read like her dad, but since Morgan had moved in with them she started playing sports too. Morgan even coached her little league softball team. 

Spencer finished packing quickly. He tended to go a little overboard, always more prepared than necessary (after all, why would he need twelve pairs of underwear for a four day trip?). Still, better safe than sorry in Spencer’s opinion. 

He had just finished packing when the doorbell rang. Kate followed him down the stairs to the front door. He opened it and was met with the sight of Morgan’s sisters.

“Sarah, Desiree, hi,” Spencer said.

“Hey Spencer,” Sarah said.

“Hi!” Kate said, stepping next to her dad.

“Hey Kate!” Desiree bent down to give her a big hug.

“You ready for our road trip?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah!” Kate exclaimed. 

“You guys stay here, I’ll go get Kate’s bags.” 

Spencer returned a moment later with Kate’s duffle bag and backpack. He handed the duffle to Sarah and helped Kate slide on her backpack.

“I’m not going to get to the inn until dinner time tomorrow so you’re going to be good for Desiree and Sarah right?” 

“Yes daddy,” Kate said, rolling her eyes.

“Just making sure. Grandma should be getting there around noon tomorrow, so you can hang out with her too.” Spencer gave her a tight hug. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too daddy.” She said.

After the three of them left Spencer went back to his room to change for the wine tasting. Morgan had helped him pick out the perfect outfit, a plum button up with a black tie and charcoal slacks and jacket. 

He snapped a quick photo and sent it to Morgan. Not even a minute later he got a picture back. Morgan was sitting in the back of Garcia’s convertible, making a kissy face at the camera.

“Beautiful. I can’t wait to marry you,” Spencer texted back.

“I love you.” Morgan wrote. Then a moment later, “Emily says stop being a sap.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. He checked his watch and realized that he had to leave if he wanted to be on time to Rossi’s house.

He pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes later. That was odd, his car was the only one other than Rossi’s that was there. Had he gotten the time wrong? He was sure they said six.

Regardless, he got out of the car and walked up to the front door. He didn’t even have a chance to ring the doorbell before Rossi opened the door.

“Spencer, come in,” Rossi ushered him inside, closing the door behind him.

“Did I get the time wrong?” He asked. 

“No, no. I told you to come a little early. You’re perfectly on time.”

“Oh. Okay.” Spencer was a little confused. Why would Rossi ask him to come early? 

“I wanted to give you part of your wedding gift now. It’ll help with the other half,” Rossi said. He lead him to the kitchen which was all set up like he was about to cook.

“Are we cooking?” Spencer asked.

“Yes we are. I am going to teach you how to make an authentic Italian dinner for your family.” Rossi beamed at the thought.

“I appreciate it Rossi but I’m more of a hazard in the kitchen than anything.”

“Not anymore. I’m going to teach you how to cook with grace,” he said. “And pleas, while we’re in my kitchen, call me Dave.”

Spencer chuckled inwardly. He’d never done anything with grace in his life. 

“Your daughter, how picky is she?” Rossi asked.

“Not very. She’ll try anything once.” Spencer took immense pride in Kate’s eating habits. Many kids her age wouldn’t dare touch some of the things she’d tried. Kate, however, had no hang ups about the way food looked. She was willing to try any food, regardless of whether she thought she was going to like it or not. 

“She eats meat right? And she doesn’t have any allergies.”

“Yeah, meat’s fine and no she doesn’t have any food allergies. She is allergic to bees however.”

“That’s good to know,” Rossi said. “Okay, we’re going to make osso buco with polenta and roasted artichoke hearts.”

“That sounds fancy,” Spencer said. “A lot fancier than anything I’ve cooked before.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through the whole thing.”

Rossi stayed true to his word. He took Spencer step by step through the process, showing him all of the correct techniques, and how to time it properly so that everything would be done at the same time. 

By the end, Spencer was surprised at how well he’d done. Sure, it took probably twice as long as it would’ve if Rossi had done it by himself, but the end result was worth the extra time. 

JJ and Hotch arrived just as Rossi and Spencer we’re finishing up at about quarter to seven. 

“Something smells good,” JJ commented as she entered the kitchen.

“It’s osso buco. Spencer made it,” Rossi said.

“Forty five minutes with Dave has made you into a master chef,” Hotch said, after he had taken a bite of his dinner. “Why am I not surprised?”

“You know cooking is a lot more like chemistry than I realized. The different temperatures and times and the blending of acids and bases, it’s all stuff I’ve studied before.”

“Only you would turn dinner into a science, Spence.” JJ chuckled.

“So, a bed and breakfast on a farm in the Berkshires,” Rossi said, once they finished dinner and were onto the wine tasting. “Whose idea was that?”

“Well Derek suggested it, but we both agreed we wanted a destination wedding,” Spencer said. “He wanted to go to Hawaii or Puerto Rico, but I don’t really like the beach and I didn’t want to go too far away, just in case something happened.”

“So the most logical next step was Massachusetts?” Hotch asked.

“Well the Berkshires are beautiful this time of year. And really, the location is pretty convenient. It’s only a few hours from Atlantic City, and a few hours from Boston. We’re going to go there for a few days after the wedding.”

Spencer had to suppress the urge to sigh wistfully like he was in a romance novel. Truthfully, he felt like he was in one. In two days he was marrying the man that he loved. He would be surrounded by his closest friends and family on a pretty little farm in the Massachusetts countryside. What could be more perfect than that?

Two hours and approximately twenty different kinds of wine later, Spencer was drunk. Not one drink too many, silly drunk, full on spacey, falling over drunk.

It was still early enough in the night and no one really wanted to go home, so Rossi made a suggestion that would keep them all occupied for a while. 

“How about some poker?” He asked. “The others are in Atlantic City gambling, we should gamble too.”

“Are you sure you wanna do that?” Spencer asked. “I can beat all of you with my eyes closed.” 

“Maybe regular Spencer could, but drunk Spencer doesn’t stand a chance,” JJ said. “Drunk Spencer has an IQ of 60.”

“Not true. Even wasted I could beat you.”

As it turned out Spencer was correct. Not even an hour in Spencer was way ahead.

“I have an idea, let’s make this more fun,” Rossi said, finishing the last of his wine. “Let’s play strip poker.”

“Are you sure that’s appropriate for coworkers?” Hotch, who was also pretty drunk by now, asked.

“Aaron, when you’re sitting on my living room floor you are no longer my boss, you are my friend, and sometimes friends see their friends naked.” Rossi said.

“Well I’m in,” JJ said, also too drunk to think about the possible consequences. 

“I’m in, because I’m gonna end up fully clothed,” Spencer said. 

They played like that for a while. Spencer’s streak didn’t end and he remained perfectly clothed, minus his jacket that he took off not because he lost a hand, but because the wine was making him sweaty.

JJ was in her blouse and underwear, Rossi was in just his boxers and Hotch was stark naked. Spencer hadn’t planned on seeing Hotch’s penis tonight, but all he could think of when he did was that it looked exactly as he had expected.

“You losers should quit while you’re behind unless you wanna end up like Hotch,” Spencer said to JJ and Rossi. 

“I won’t surrender to you Spencer Reid,” JJ said, her eyes filled with a determination that Spencer had never seen before. Rossi, on the other hand was almost asleep, leaning back against the couch. 

“Looks like grandpa can’t hold his wine,” Spencer whisper yelled to JJ who sat across from him.

“I heard that Spencer,” Rossi murmured.

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Hotch said, swaying gently. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, me too,” Spencer said, yawning as if to prove it. 

“Rematch?” He asked JJ.

“Fine. I’m gonna beat you though,” she said. 

Rossi had managed to climb into his recliner and was now fully asleep. Maybe they should’ve woken him up and brought him to his bed, but none of them had the energy.

Spencer laid down on the couch behind him, pulling the blanket that was thrown over the back around his body. Hotch was content to pass out where he was, laying on his stomach and resting his head on a throw pillow from the chair behind him.

“I’m going to sleep in Rossi’s bed,” JJ whispered to Spencer, before she slipped off upstairs. 

Spencer fell asleep after only a few moments, to the rhythmic sound of Rossi’s snoring.

Spencer awoke to his phone ringing in his pocket. It took him a moment to realize what was happening before he picked up.

“Hello?” He asked, sounding groggy and disoriented. 

“Hey baby boy,” Morgan slurred into the phone. 

“Derek. How’s Atlantic City?” 

“It’s great babe. I made two hundred dollars, and I got a lap dance from a man who was dressed up as a sexy FBI agent.” Spencer chuckled at that.

“That sounds amazing.”

“It was nice but you’re the only sexy FBI agent I want.”

“Derek, honey, you’re so drunk,” Spencer said.

“No, you’re drunk.”

“Okay, I am drunk, but so are you.”

“Where are you right now?” Morgan asked.

“I think I’m on Rossi’s couch. I don’t know, I passed out at some point. Why?” 

“Because I’m hard and I want you to talk dirty to me so I can cum.” Spencer’s breath caught in the back of his throat.

“I can’t do this in Rossi’s living room.”

“Then go into the bathroom. I need to hear your voice baby boy.”

“Ugh, fine. Hold on.” 

Spencer got up and stumbled to the bathroom. It was dark but eventually he found the door and he locked himself inside.

Spencer emerged from the bathroom a little while later, significantly more ruffled than when he had walked in, if that was even possible. He was tired and nearly boneless at this point, and the only thing he could think about was getting back on the couch and sleeping until the morning.

As he laid down he noticed that Hotch and Rossi were still in the same place they had fallen asleep. JJ, however, was now laying on the loveseat opposite the couch Spencer was on, despite having gone to sleep in Rossi’s bed earlier.

Spencer couldn’t remember if she had been there before he’d gotten up. He hoped she was, because the alternative was that at some point while he was jerking off on the phone with Morgan, she had walked past the bathroom door and into the living room.

That would be mortifying. The last thing Spencer needed was his best friend to have heard him getting off.


End file.
